This is a hard blog for me to write, I still feel traumatized after seeing my daughter in such distress. Last night for dinner I made her a grilled cheese. I cut it up into small pieces and put a few on her tray. She was already in a fussy mood, but towards the end she started to really whine and eventually started crying. She still had a piece of grilled cheese in her mouth as she was crying and when she sucked in air to cry harder the piece sucked back in her throat too. My eyes went huge as I realized she had stopped crying. In my head I was desperately waiting to hear her cough but after a few seconds passed I knew she was really choking. This part is a parents worst nightmare. I immediately started screaming, screaming at her to please breathe and for this moment to be over. She couldnt make a sound but her body let me know how scared she was. Her little arms were flailing, her eyes were huge with panic, and she started turning red. I was holding her, hitting her back, and I put my finger in her throat, I could feel the piece but couldnt pull it out. This was all happening in a matter of seconds. My husband was by my side in a few moments. He is a firefighter and trained in CPR but I could see the panic in his face too. He grabbed her from me and did five back blows, when he turned her over she was purple and the viens in her neck and head were very pronounced. I thought she was going to die right then and there. It was the worst feeling not being able to take her pain away or give her my breath or do anything but scream for the lord to please help her. My husband told me to call 911 as he started chest compressions, I reached for my phone and was trying hard not to faint but as soon as I turned for it I heard the best sound ever, the piece pop out and her crying !!! The purplish color started to drain immediately and she was crying so hard. She was terrified of what just happened to her. My husband held her and its like she knew he had just saved her life because she put her head in the space between his neck and shoulder and just stayed there for awhile. I ran to get her sippy cup and she drank it so fast I was worried she would choke again. I was still shaky but I grabbed her and cried into her little chest. Sometimes I forget how resilient children are because she wanted down and was ready to play. I put her down and she took off like nothing happened but if only she knew how traumatized this whole experience had left me. I hated seeing her struggling to breathe, I hated how purple, almost blue she was turning and worst of all I hated the look of pure terror she had in her eyes. My husband hugged me and I thanked him for staying calm and knowing what to do but the thought creeped in my head “what if he hadnt been there? ” would she have died on me? I am now in search for a cpr class and my husband has showed me what to do if it happens again, which it did, the next day, while he was on shift. She was eating a strawberry, cut up, but still swallowed without chewing it. My heart sank again, I lifted her up and hit her back but this time it popped out immediately. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and I started crying like a big baby. I was feeling really defeated and scared this would happen every time now. I still feel afraid to feed her solid foods and I’m cutting everything up into extremely tiny pieces until I feel less on edge. This whole experience has taught me how important it is to take cpr classes. It could of all went a different way but God is so good. So please if you are reading this and have kids, learn cpr, google it, brush up on it, watch videos and practice it. You never know when a familiar situation can turn ugly. We have grilled cheese a few times a week and she is a great eater but this one time could have changed everything. I pray this never happens again or to anyone else. God bless.