I asked a simple question once on a mom group page. “what is your toddlers favorite Disney movie?” To my surprise, the first three replies I got went something like this…
“wow you really let your toddler watch tv?”
“watching too much tv at that age can cause autism”
“my child isn’t allowed tv time”
My heart kind of sank, not only did they not answer my question but worse, I was being mom shamed. I deleted my account immediately but their replies still danced in my head. I didn’t ask for opinions on whether a child should or should not watch tv, but yet a few moms made sure to let me know how bad of a job I was doing to allow it. So here’s a big congratulations and good job to the moms who do everything perfect. I really am happy for you. I’m not being sarcastic either because you truly are an inspiration.
Sometimes I wish I could make my own all organic baby food, not allow tv time, have my child dressed to impress, and do everything the natural way. But here’s the thing. I love to see my child’s face after she’s taken a bite out of my non organic meat and cheese filled enchilada, I love the cuddles I get when we relax after a long day and enjoy a movie, I love the stain on her onesie that shows she knows how to get her hands dirty, and I love the look of relief she gets on her face after she’s had medicine instead of waiting for some natural remedy to maybe take her pain away. Those perfect moms may say that is selfish because of all the problems those things could potentially cause but I do not see it. I still see the curiosity and creativity in her eyes after we have watched a movie, I still see the beautiful girl underneath her food and play stained clothes and I still see a happy and healthy child after she’s had a dosage of pain medication. Some moms make you worry too much about what you are doing wrong instead of what you are doing right. Each and every one of us has our own parenting style and although it may not seem like the perfect way to others, it is the perfect way in the mind of your child. As long as they are fed, happy, loved and kind than you are doing an amazing job.
Deep down us moms know what is right for our children, but sometimes we need a little reassurance, that’s why there are so many mom groups and so many questions. Just the fact that a parent asked a question, means they are doing a great job, it means that they care, and if there is care than there is love and if a child feels loved than you are the perfect mom in their eyes.